helping others

relationships with the disadvantaged


Some of "them" deserve our pity; we should help "them". But "they" must know their place; "they" are not our peers.


Many people who work with the disadvantaged want - consciously or unconsciously - the disadvantaged to stay dependent on them, because they like the power - they like controlling others.

Even if you have taken care of yourself and sincerely want to help someone, there's not much you can do to help anyone other than listening (actively) and mirroring. Advice doesn't help unless it's asked for (and accepted); what most people in pain most want and need is someone to listen to them without judging what they are saying - without judging them. You can't change anyone else, but you can change yourself. And helping yourself is the best thing you can do for your community.

Character and Health: table of contents