judging yourself and others
judgments vs. self-acceptance
- forcing what is perceived into a model of how things ought to be
- the internal judge, internalized from one's childhood environment, is
the cause of much unhappiness
- try to accept yourself for what you are
- there's nothing wrong with judging everyone
- when to judge
- when you are faced with an unfamiliar situation or person
- when not to judge
- when you make a mistake
- analyze what happened but don't judge yourself
- two kinds of judgment
- the judgments we must make for our own safety and well-being
- the level of involvement I have with someone determines
how much of his/her character I must judge
- the judgments we make which are none of our business
- when I find myself making this kind of judgment about a person
it is usually a sign that I am projecting disowned aspects
of my own personality onto him or her
- I must continually compare all my behavior to an ideal, a standard
- absolutes - e.g., perfection - exist only in theory
- what standard am i judging myself or others by?
rules and beliefs
- rules and beliefs are the foundation of a civilized society
- if i believe in following a rule, am i following the letter or the
spirit of the rule?
- are my beliefs rigid?
- do my beliefs arise out of fear?
- do i believe that the verbal form of my beliefs is the true form?
- or do I believe in the possibility of
- nonverbal beliefs - beliefs that cannot adequately be expressed in words
- beliefs that adapt to changes in one's life and environment
Character and Health: table of contents