forcing what is perceived into a model of how things ought to be
health
the internal judge, internalized from one's childhood environment,
is the cause of much unhappiness
try to accept yourself for what you are
judging
character
there's nothing wrong with judging everyone
health
when to judge
when you are faced with an unfamiliar situation or person
when not to judge
when you make a mistake
analyze what happened but don't judge yourself
two kinds of judgment
the judgments we must make for our own safety and well-being
the level of involvement I have with someone determines how much of
his/her character I must judge
the judgments we make which are none of our business
when I find myself making this kind of judgment about a person it is
usually a sign that I am projecting disowned aspects of my own personality
onto him or her
standards
character
I must continually compare all my behavior to an ideal, a standard
health
absolutes - e.g., perfection - exist only in theory
what standard am i judging myself or others by?
rules and beliefs
character
rules and beliefs are the foundation of a civilized society
health
if i believe in following a rule, am i following the letter or the
spirit of the rule?
are my beliefs rigid?
do my beliefs arise out of fear?
do i believe that the verbal form of my beliefs is the true form?
or do I believe in the possibility of
nonverbal beliefs - beliefs that cannot adequately be expressed in
words
beliefs that adapt to changes in one's life and environment
self esteem & self-centeredness
self-esteem, pride in self, shame
character
"excessive" pride is considered a sin, a lack of shame
health
self-esteem is healthy
self-centeredness
character
selfishness is a sin
people are innately selfish
selfishness must be overcome by forcing yourself to focus on others
health
the result of uncompleted childhood processes
can be gotten beyond only by indulging it, following where it leads
many people who are considered self-centered are, in reality, stuck
they need professional help
people who are self-centered are unhappy
they don't know how to meet their own needs
their ineffective attempts to meet their own needs appear to others
often as vanity
"the only way out is through"
we can become less self-centered, more altruistic, only by doing the
work of self-discovery
The only way out of self-centeredness is more self-centeredness.
self-centeredness is a manifestation of the organism's attempts to
heal itself, to do what it was not allowed to do in childhood.
The human mind apprehends the world by many means other than by breaking
it down into parts and studing the parts, one by one. It can grasp the
whole, without dissecting it. This method is often superior to analysis.
Intuition is not inferior to other means of knowing things. In fact,
it is often more accurate, because it includes all sensory information,
and understands things in their context.
the unconscious and the conscious
character
The unconscious is the home of the devil in the human mind.
health
The unconscious is who we are. The conscious is just our "front
office". It exists only to deal with the boring everyday details.