problems with the modern model
- modern model engenders power struggles
- The modern model engenders power struggles because there is no clear leader. The couple has not chosen a tie-breaker or decided on any other way to handle deadlocks. The masculine parts of the 'partners' are in a competition which often continues without a clear winner until one of the partners withdraws from the relationship.
- men withdraw and/or become abusive
- Trying to live by the modern model frustrates a man. He feels disrespected. His masculinity is not valued and, since he is not as good at power-sharing and co-operation as his woman, he feels inadequate. His self-esteem suffers. He withdraws and/or become abusive.
- When the man withdraws the woman must pick up each responsibility he lets drop. She resents him for putting her in this position. He reacts to her resentment - and nagging - by withdrawing further.
- the man becomes passive-aggressive (or abusive) and the woman becomes shrewish, bitchy
- the modern model de-sexualizes the love relationship
- The modern model de-sexualizes the love relationship by requiring one or both participants to repress their psychological sexuality. If the couple tries to make decisions the way two women make decisions, the man's masculinity will become a problem; he must become good at voluntary co-operation and at sharing power. If the couple tries to make decisions as two men might, the woman's femininity will get her nowhere; she must become competitive and aggressive and learn how to win in a man's world.
- Another name for the modern model is the unisex model.